Forgive and forget

        I dated this guy for a year . On and off but it was a year . We meant everything for eachother (thats what I thought) I loved that kid so much, I couldnt seem to get enought of him . We had ALOT of fights but we always managed to get throught them like a couple . The kid meant everyhting to me at the time , But after a while the loved faded away, the fight we had were dead serious, we would call us bad names, and stop talking for a long time I could see we were fadeing away . If he told me I love you butterflyes wouldnt come to my stomach , The feeling just wasnt the same . We would always have this little "breaks", But On november 7th the day of our annevarsity we had  a BIG fight It was really sad ! Mostly because it was the day of our one year anniversity & his birthday I had thought I did something wrong so I send him the biggest lettter ever saying  how much iam sorry and happy birthday and happy one year anniversity He onyl replaid with "I dont think I want to be with you anymore" I felt like my life was over I was dead I didnt even know what to do. One week later I heard he allready had a girlfriend I broke down . Its like 'us' never ment anything to him ! Time past from when I found that out and he messaged me saying I looked gorgeous, I could have been like Fuck you go away But instead I said thank you , after that He started being all mean messageing me really mean stuff, I didnt know what was going on with him because I hadnt talked to him ever since we broke up wich was 2 months ago. I answerd mad cussing him out, He started saying more mean shit I just decided to block him. Time passed & I was happy I had forgoten about him.But then he comes along on twitter talking more crap saying that I never meant shit to him and that our relationship was just bullcrap . I cryed and cryed but while crying I still talked crap to him, I couldnt be mean i dont know why But I couldnt, But I guess he could because he was talking ALOT of crap! It got me really down, and he saw it did . he felt like he was the bug guy in the picture but really he was just makeing a fool of himself, He looked pathetic ! I mean If he was soo over me he wouldnt even be talking to me and he would be happy with his girlfriend ! Long story short Its so wierd how you can go from loving a person SO MUCH  to HATEING them SO MUCH. It  sucks and I wouldnt like to say I hate someone I use to love but feeling chaange and people change the onyl thing that dosent change are the memories but memories, memories are the past and You just want to look to your future !
    Forgive and forget is what Iam telling myself . Forgive his mistake and all the crap he ever said It hurts and youll always have that pain in your heart no matter how much time passes, or happy things happen youll always remebeer the pain.So just forgive and try and forget. FORGIVE AND FORGET .

Keep up, Dont give up .

 Do you ever just feel like ending everyhting ? Like just dissapearing forever, Or to simply fall asleepe camly and never ever wake up ever again ? Life its tought . Sometimes you cant seem to keep up with it, seems like the only solution is to give up . & just leave everyhting .  You dont care who will miss you or who will be sad, because at this time that you are alive & suffering, needing help noone seems to give a fuck . Noone seems to care or even try to help . Life is just fucked up , & you cant  figure out what to do. Crying at midnight, frusterated, and depressed. Haveing no clue if its worth to stay alive to see if life will bring you something good tommorrow morning Because all it seems to bring to you is frusteration, heartbreaks, mistakes, everyhting you could imagine BUT JUST NOTHING GOOD COMES ALONG FOR YOU. Life is thought But I been learning to keep up with it. Always haveing that one thought behaind my mind of letting go, ending everyhting and haveing no more frusteration, being free of the world . But life aint like that, you got take the test first then the lesson . Keep up and try your best .


                       

                                                                                       xoxo
                                                                                         -Tali .

Iam from here .

    I was born and raised in Cananea sonora mexico . Its small town near agua prieta sonora . I love it  there , Its free and fun ! But unfortunately I moved to the u.s. I love it here But I miss it over there ) : Mostly because my HOLE family lives there & friends . I go visit every once in a while and keep in touch But its not the same . . .

This is me . . .

    Neftali jaztel is the name I have been called for my last 14 years of my life . June 15 1998 at 11:55 was when my popped me out of her vagina. She almost died ! But decided to have another one wich I now call brother, his name is Ernesto Alonso he is 13 born arpil 20, 2000 I was 1 and a half when he popped out of my moms vagina, This time my mom literally almost DIED! It hurt her so bad she operated herslef to not have babies anymore . My dad and hole family went along with her because they saw how much she suffered, But now my mom dad and everyone regrets what she did . Even I do ! My brother is the biggest pain in the butt but I still wished I could have had another brother/sister. After everyhting we are a happy 4 person family Mom, Dad, Brother, & I.